Weekend Plans

Usually by this time of the week, I'm telling you something interesting about an item of clothing that you thought was really boring before. This week, that isn't the case. Now I could make a whole bunch of excuses as to why that is, but I won't. I'll only make up one.

This weekend, a friend is getting married and I'll be traveling to the wedding. In order to do this, I needed to shift some work around to make time, and this has demolished any preparation time for writing an in depth compare/contrast piece of Music and Wardrobe. That would have blown minds. Maybe I'll write about that next week. This week, I'll do something else to blow your mind.

1st: I'll show you something that will entertain you for at least a good 20 minutes.

2nd: You will see what my face looked like (at 17) for the first time.

No word of a lie.

I've always been so cynical of the technology they show on film. Being able to see what you look like when you grow older, or what you would look like with completely different hair, skin, and eyes. None of that ever exists. Well, at least I didn't know about it, until my sister showed me this website.

The MarieClaire website is for women. Yes. I understand that. With their website, you can take a woman who looks like this:

And make her into one that looks like this:


That's pretty neat. Then I wondered "What could a guy use this for?". Well, when I was 17 years old, I got my hands on a digital camera. It's the sort of moment that my A&E biography will probably expound greater on. With that camera, I took a self portrait... and regretted it for years.



I look so impressed.

Having an embarrassing photo around can be helpful though. With a little creativity and some help from MarieClaire, I was able to turn that dreadful photo into this masterpiece of 70's glam.


I now know what I would look like with emo-hair and an handlebar mustache. A little more play and I could have had a full beard as well... but I didn't want to over-do it.

I'll leave you with that. Enjoy your weekend everyone, and I'll see you around.

Neither Seen, Nor Smelled

Sticking with the theme of the unsung members of wardrobe, I would like to talk about socks.

Actually, that's a lie. Nobody really wants to talk about socks. They're socks. Enough said. Then again, there are a few things that every guy should know about socks in order to be considered capable of dressing himself.

1: Match
Socks must match. Only 13 year old girls, insane geniuses, or the color blind will ever get away with wearing socks that don't match. Socks that are almost the same color, or almost the same pattern, do not count. If your socks don't match... well that's sad.

2: Price
There are people out there that will tell you, you get what you pay for with socks. I wonder if buying a pair of 200 dollar socks entitles me to some kind of timeshare. Really, I don't think paying ridiculous money for a pair of handmade bespoke socks will get you any more than a couple of odd looks. Just find some nice socks that aren't in a big plastic bag with a happy face sticker on it. You can feel some pride in knowing you won't have to sell your children if they wear out in a few months.

3: Clean
Wash your socks... just... just do it.

4: Color
This is probably the trickiest question for socks. Are they supposed to match something? Pants? Shoes? Belt? Shirt? Are some colors considered formal? Or is it the sock itself? All good questions. I've thought about these questions a fair bit, but from what I can tell, your socks should really match the shoes you're wearing. Black dress shoes? Wear black dress socks. White sneakers? White sport socks. Brown casuals? Something light brown should work.

Bright colors are the trump card. Bright red, and bright blue, can be used where a simple white sock should not be. Under no circumstances may you wear white sport socks with dress shoes. Word on the street is, it's uncouth.


(Picture blatantly stolen from A Suitable Wardrobe... the guys name is Rob, I hope he's cool with this)

5: No Holes
Holes are a simple fact of a socks life. Socks wear thin, they develop holes, and we should not be wearing them anymore. Once a sock becomes thin enough in one spot to see your foot, it isn't doing it's job and needs to be retired. Buy new ones, and walk tall.

Bonus Tip: Socks and Sandals

Sandals are great. Socks are great. Socks and sandals together are not great. Wearing socks and sandals is a sin on par with hitting your grandmother. Think about that the next time you even consider it.


(For more pictures of nerds in socks and sandals, check out the article where I yoinked this photo)

It's what's underneath that counts

Ha, I'm so clever with my titles sometimes.

Undershirts are underrated. They're useful for all kinds of things. They keep you cool. If you're still warm and you're starting to sweat, they slow down the whole pit stain process by picking up any excess sweat before it hits your nice dress shirt. They're also indispensable to guys for their cologne masking properties. Spray a little brut on your chest, throw an undershirt over it, and you'll have a scent that's subtle and long lasting. Subtle because it needs to go through two layers of shirt to reach any nostrils, and long lasting because the heat that's held against you by your shirt will keep it going all day.

It's a sign of class when you loosen your tie, unbutton that top button and still you've got a bit of layering going on underneath. They're also the most flattering shirts any guy can wear. No logos, classic T's that form to the body. You can wear them by themselves with just a pair of jeans and nobody would ever fuss. They're great. Plus, James Bond wears one.

Still, there are things to watch for when wearing an undershirt.

Fit:
It's just like any other item of clothing. It has to fit. Today I wore an undershirt that didn't fit properly. "No problem!", I thought. "It's going to be underneath my dress shirt all day, who cares if my undershirt is a bit small"? I then spent the rest of the day fixing my shirt where it tucks in. The undershirt was coming untucked and sitting awkwardly on my belt line. Looked pretty stupid. Yes I did.

Cleanliness:
Yes, it's one of those things where people will probably never see a stain if you wear it underneath something else. Then again, who knows when you'll have to rip off your shirt in some sort of masculine display? Masculine shirt removal is cool. Not so much when you've got nasty stains on whatever's left.

Material:
I'm sure you could wear a wool undershirt... but itching isn't one of my more attractive activities. Cotton is wonderful. You might also try bamboo if you're into alternative fabrics. I hear it's as soft as a baby pandas bottom.

Baby Clothes

Some close friends of mine have recently brought a new baby boy onto this earth. I won't give you his name, but let's call him Baby. I held Baby for the first time the other night, and he seemed a very calm and relaxed little person. Curled up in pajamas, he was content just to sleep... and eat... and sleep some more. A lot like me on vacation.

With a new child around, there are bound to be more than a few anxious people ready to shop for the most adorable clothing and accessories that Baby can wear. They make all sorts of neat things for tiny tots nowadays. I found these particular items at BlueBlankie.com

You could always rush out in a buying frenzy... but it occurred to me. When I'm on vacation, the last thing I want to do is dress in something less comfortable than my PJs.
As adorable as that sailors outfit might look, Baby probably wouldn't give a baby damn. He'll puke on it, just like a real sailor would. The pimp robe looks pretty comfy, but research has yet to conclude just how embarrassing that would be to a sixteen year old when mom whips out the ol' family album.

I'm just as excited as anybody to start dressing Baby in embarrassing clothes, but I think I'll give him a break for a while. He's been through a very stressful move recently. Pajamas should be perfectly acceptable for a good long while.

Dress for Someone Else

On most days, I wake up without wearing the clothes I plan on wearing that day. There are exceptions to this rule, but mostly I have to dress myself. Every morning I have to make a decision on what to wear. In the past, I would make this decision based on what was clean, what was comfy, and what wouldn't make me look like an idiot. I had no desire to wear anything stylish. I was dressing for me.

Since starting this site, I have made an effort to dress better every day. It hasn't always worked, but I've tried. I do this, because I wanted to be sure that I could follow my own advice. If I couldn't follow simple tips that I was writing out myself, then how could anyone else use it? In short, I started dressing with my sartorial future in mind.

Then something interesting happened. I got a compliment.

A coworker had noticed the way I was dressing and actually took the time to bring it up. They didn't ask why I was dressing that way, but they thanked me for it. I was shocked. I had never considered that anyone but myself took any interest in what I was wearing; however, if I looked back just a few entries at my opinion of those not suited for Business Attire, I would find myself with a real opinion of the dress of everyone I came in contact with. Every encounter we have will create an impression with that person either positive or negative, so ever since that day I've had one goal in mind:

Dress for someone else.